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Golden Scissors The Golden Scissor Awards Golden Scissors

Fresh from the cutting room floor of the censors, presented here for your enjoyment are the finest edits from the Tenchi series as screened on Cartoon Network. Sit back and enjoy this no-holds-barred exposé of the occasionally overzealous editing employed to render Tenchi suitable for a kids channel...

Longest Continuous Cut
(Excluding deleted prologues lost in UK broadcast)

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 7 (The Night Before the Carnival)
Cut
Washu's infamous nurse scene, comprising 20 shots (1:40) has been cut. This sequence, originally part of the scene where Washu is experimenting on Tenchi, featured Washu putting on a nurse's outfit and proclaiming she needs some sperm samples from him. Fortunately, Tenchi is saved from further indignity when Mihoshi wanders into the laboratory and manages to break Washu's computer.

Opinion - Now did anyone seriously expect the nurse scene to make it into the censored version? Even the English dub cleaned up the scene a lot (in the Japanese version, Washu suggests several saucy ways to extract the sperm sample she wants). She's an angel of mercy, Tenchi!

Most Cuts

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 3 (Hello, Ryo-Ohki!)
Cut
In the UK, a whopping 5:40 was cut from Tenchi Muyo! episode 3 - over 22% of the episode's run time. Much of this can be accounted for by the deleted prologue (3:12), but even disregarding this the deleted section of the scene where Katsuhito cops a feel of Ryoko then lectures Tenchi on the responsibility of fatherhood (1:22) is the second longest continuous cut in the series.

Opinion - This one really went through the mincer. It would appear to be fine to leave the incest references in (Ayeka betrothed to her half-brother), but the tender scene between Ayeka and Tenchi became another victim of the whirling blades of censorship.

Largest Digital Edit

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 4 (Mihoshi Falls to the Land of Stars)
Original Edited Throughout most of the first part of the hot springs scene, Ryoko has had a bikini digitally painted on (Ayeka also has a swimsuit added for the shot where Ryoko pulls her towel off). In addition, the shot where Tenchi is clouted by the water demon has had the blood painted out, and one shot of the innkeeper was zoomed to remove Nobuyuki who had been caught peeping. In total, there are 38 digitally edited shots in this episode, accounting for 2:54 of screen time (almost 8% of the episode). 36 of these shots were just to add swimsuits to Ayeka and Ryoko.
Original Edited
Opinion - No surprises here, as this is arguably the most fanservicey episode of the series. Actually, all things considered, the digital repainting itself is pretty competent, even if it does mangle the story and suck most of the humour (the lowbrow humour anyway) out of the episode.

Honourable Mention

Tenchi Universe - Episode 22 (No Need for Knights!)
Altered Altered An incredible 76 shots in this episode (as well as numerous shots in other episodes) were altered using temporal blurring to reduce the intensity of the flickering effects in many scenes. These alterations were only made to the episodes broadcast in the UK.

Comment - This alteration is hardly surprising. Although the most prominent world-wide case of photoepilepsy from a TV show is the Pokémon incident in Japan in 1997, the UK has its own history of similar cases. In 1993, the media got hold of a few stories about people suffering epileptic seizures while playing video games, leading to a spate of scare stories (the most notorious of these being the infamous "Nintendo Killed My Son" headline in the red-top tabloid newspaper The Sun). Even today, warnings are broadcast before TV programmes and news reports that contain strobing effects. This can go quite some way to explain why the UK broadcasters baulked at the amount of flickering in this episode.

Most Pointless Cut
(Excluding cuts for time reasons)

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 3 (Hello, Ryo-Ohki!)
Cut The shot of Ryoko showing Sasami the new Ryo-Ohki egg was shortened by 1� seconds to remove Sasami's line; "Did you lay it?".

Opinion - Personally, I loved this little moment; it was cute, funny and showed a delightful naïvety on Sasami's part. Of course, we can't have such lines confusing the younger viewers over where babies come from, so we'll leave them with the far less damaging stork / cabbage patch / gooseberry bush explanations of parenting tradition.

Most Pointless Digital Edit

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 3 (Hello, Ryo-Ohki!)
Original

In the scene where Ayeka discovers Tenchi and his grandfather practising swordplay in the woods, she falls from a tree and hurts herself. In this shot with the humiliated Ayeka lying sprawled on the ground, the shadow on her leg has been repainted. Her movement of trying to cover herself up is also repeated, this time without the bigger shadow, but can be put down to poor editing rather than an intentional extension of the shot.

(NB: These screenshots have been zoomed in on the affected region of the image to illustrate the change more clearly)

Edited
Opinion - The grand prize for biggest time-waster in the digital repainting department goes to whoever is responsible for this gem. Not only does the extra shadow look like a horrible rush job and does little to censor anything, but the editing to reinsert the modified footage was so sloppy that we got to see Ayeka's thigh in all its glory anyway.

Most Pointless Re-dub

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 4 (Mihoshi Falls to the Land of Stars)
Cut The scene where Sasami drags the unconscious Tenchi away from Ryoko and Ayeka's fight has a line re-dubbed.
Original
Re-dubbed
Sasami: You're a naughty boy, aren't you Tenchi?

Sasami: You're a bad boy, aren't you Tenchi?

Opinion - It goes without saying that the infamous changing of "sake" to "tea" throughout all the Tenchi series is pretty insulting to the viewers' intelligence (whoever heard of getting drunk off tea?), but this is amongst the most ludicrous of re-dubs. Quite why they changed "naughty" to "bad" beggars logic, but it is not an isolated incident. Perhaps they wanted to get the most out of rehiring the actors for the dub sessions by making them redo perfectly broadcastable lines. To add further to the confusion, the original line still went out on one of the US trailers for the series.

Most Unbelievably Unaltered Scene

Tenchi Muyo! - Episode 11 (The Advent of the Goddess)
The moment most guaranteed to have parents blushing and reaching for the remote is Washu's experiment scene in OVA 11, in which we see Washu poking Ayeka's breasts to test her "sensitivity", in response to which Ayeka lets out a little moan of ecstasy. Intriguingly, the completely innocent last 12 seconds of the scene, showing Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki playing catch with Washu's scientific equipment were removed. The only other change was re-dubbing Washu taunting Zero-Ryoko by claiming "her body is sagging" (as opposed to "breasts" in the unedited version).
Not Cut Not Cut Not Cut?! Not Cut?! Not Cut

Opinion - Clearly the censors were out to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and just about every major daily snack to let this scene slip through. Considering that other scenes containing even implied lewdness were cut (even within the same episode), it's hard to imagine what must have been going through their minds. Strangely enough, the scene with Mihoshi and Ryo-Ohki playing catch remained in one of the US trailers, but was cut from the actual episode.

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